Source: 5 Healthy Relationship Boundaries To Establish Now – Motivations Counseling – Medium

At Motivations Counseling, we want to help you to resolve emotional issues of the past and the present. Together, we can open the door to you finding a brighter and more confident future.

Call us today for a free 10-minute consultation to see if our approach and experience are right for you.

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Phone: (281) 858-3001
Email: susan@motivationscounseling.com
Form: Contact Us Contact Us

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”
-William Shakespeare

The human condition is something that has been written about many times over. Major religions have definitive beliefs about it. Even Shakespeare tried to sum it up with his “All the world’s a stage” monologue.

When it comes to compassion, as humans we instinctively apply it to our fellow man when we observe suffering. It’s a natural reaction to want to help others who are in pain. But, so often we overlook the need for compassion when applying it to ourselves.

We all deal with difficulties in our lives. When you experience failure or feelings of inadequacy, do you find yourself self-criticizing or telling yourself to simply ignore the feelings hoping that they will just go away?

Self-compassion is about extending compassion to yourself whenever you experience failure, inadequacy, or general suffering. It is similar to the notion of “unconditional positive regard”, a concept developed by psychologist Carl Rogers.

Within the context of client-centered therapy, unconditional positive regard is about accepting and supporting a person regardless of what they say or do. With self-compassion, this unconditional positive regard is applied to your own experiences and actions.

Research consistently shows there is a positive correlation between self-compassion and psychological well-being. People with self-compassion have greater life satisfaction. They tend to have social connectedness, emotional intelligence and, in general, are happy. Self-compassion has also been shown to reduce anxiety, depression, shame, and fear of failure.

Kristin Neff, an associate professor at the University of Texas who is credited with conducting early academic studies into self-compassion, used her research to develop the Self-compassion Scales.

There are two measurements for Self-Compassion:

• Self-Compassion Scale (SCS), and
• Self-Compassion Scale-Short Form (SCS-SF).

These scales were developed for researchers doing studies on self-compassion.

Dr. Neff defined self-compassion as being made up of three primary components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

• Self-kindness is about accepting our own flaws and weaknesses and avoiding self-criticism and judgement. The goal is to find greater emotional equanimity.


• Common humanity is about avoiding isolation. When you accept that all humans suffer, including ourselves, we can avoid feelings of isolation and that we are the only ones who make mistakes.


• Mindfulness is about not suppressing or denying feelings, or over-exaggerating them due to the negative emotions we feel.

If you have some time and want to work on developing your own self-compassion please check out the Self-compassion guided meditation and exercises developed by Dr. Neff at the following link: Self-Compassion Exercises by Dr. Kristin Neffself-compassion.org

Source: Compassion Is A Two-way Street – Motivations Counseling – Medium

At Motivations Counseling, we want to help you to resolve emotional issues of the past and the present. Together, we can open the door to you finding a brighter and more confident future.

Call us today for a free 10-minute consultation to see if our approach and experience are right for you.

How to reach us...

Phone: (281) 858-3001
Email: susan@motivationscounseling.com
Form: Contact Us Contact Us

Holiday Trash

Stress is the trash of modern life. We all generate it, but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life. This is especially true when it comes to holiday stress.

The holiday season seems to bring with it some unwelcome guests -- both depression and stress. There are so many demands placed on us during this time of year -- shopping, cleaning, parties and entertaining, just to name a few.

With a few practical tips, you can minimize holiday-related stress. Taking these to account, you might even find that you can end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought.

Tips to prevent stress during the holidays

When stress is at it's worse, you will find it difficult to stop and regroup. The best strategy is to to to get ahead of it and stop stress or depression in the first place. This is especially true if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in years past. Hopefully the following tips provided by the Mayo Clinic will help you.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.


2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.


3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.


4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.


5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.
   
   Try these alternatives:


• Donate to a charity in someone's name.
• Give homemade gifts.
• Start a family gift exchange.


6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.


7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.


8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
   
   Try these suggestions:


• Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
• Get plenty of sleep.
• Incorporate regular physical activity into each day.


9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
   
   Some options may include:


• Taking a walk at night and stargazing.
• Listening to soothing music.
• Getting a massage.
• Reading a book.


10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

At Motivations Counseling, we want to help you to resolve emotional issues of the past and the present.  Together, we can open the door to you finding a brighter and more confident future.

Call us today for a free 10-minute consultation to see if our approach and experience are right for you.

How to reach us...

Phone: (281) 858-3001
Email: susan@motivationscounseling.com
Form: Contact Us Contact Us